More Word-Play Humour
Continuing on the previous post heres some more to tickle the funny bone:
CONFUCIUS SAY:
- Masturbation is a solo played on private organ
- Tact is the unsaid part of what youre thinkin
- Gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy much alike. Both can smell it, but they cant eat it
- Woman who wear G-string, high on crack
- Man who buy drowned cat, get wet pussy
- Those who say they sleep like a baby havent got one
- House without toilet is uncanny
- Even a turtle only makes progress when it stick its neck out
- Woman who is wallflower at party, dandelion in bed
- Man who sit on tack, get point.
- Best way to cure water on the brain is with a tap on the head
- Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion
- Couple who cross LSD with birth control pills, get a trip without the kids.
- He who sleep on bed of nails, is indeed a "holy" man
- Learn to masturbate...come in handy.
- Man with tool in woman's mouth, not necessarily dentist
- The perfect gift for man who has everything, is a burglar alarm.
- Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient.
- Sumo Wrestling is survival of the fattest.
- Deaf people has phone sex by fax.
- An enemy is sometimes nothing more than a friend who got wise to you.
- Taliban's national bird is duck.
CHUCK NORRIS:
- can eat just one Lays potato chip.
- once shot a German plane down with his finger by pointing at it and yelling, Bang!
- is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
- will call up the Power Rangers occasionally just to say hi
- is still Chuck Norris in Soviet Russia
- Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
- got drunk and fucked the Statue of Liberty, then bragged about it to the Lincoln Memorial
- once destroyed the entire world, but rebuilt it faster than the human mind can comprehend, so no one noticed.
- is accurate to within 1 second in a million years.
- can crush coal into diamonds.
- eats pencils and markers for breakfast, and he shits out masterpieces.
- expected the Spanish Inquisition.
- was born with his beard
- sperm are as big as eels.
